How to Avoid Raising Spoiled Kids
In order to influence your kids in a positive way so they don’t end up spoiled or have this sense of entitlement, you just need to implement a simple system and I’m going to give that to you right now. I’m Robyn Crane, Money and Relationship Coach and founder of Money Parenting.
I know the experiences, right? You’re in the store, you just want to go shopping, you just want to get some groceries, in and out right? But that’s not what happens. You hear something from your cart, it’s a little thing going “Mommy, Mommy or Daddy, Daddy, can I, can I can I get that, can I get this?” – the begging begins. And you don’t want to be the bad guy and say “no” all the time and tell them “no, no, no, no, no” or yell at them. And you also don’t want to be the good guy all the time and just give them everything they want the second they want it, because you know what that leads to- SPOILED, SPOILED, SPOILED.
So here’s a simple thing that you can do:
So when Phoenix was three years old and when she asked for something, my husband hated to say “no”, so we wanted to say “yes” in a way. But the way we did it was we gave her our phone and we’d give her the phone to take pictures of what she liked. So she’d go around in the store and target or in the grocery store, and she’d go find some toys and we did spend a little time with her there. She’d take pictures of whatever she liked. She maybe take ten pictures or five, sometimes only three. Then when we got home we’d look at it with her, look at the pictures and ask her, have a conversation, spend some time with her “Well honey, what do you like about that? And how would you play with it? And would you invite your friends over to play with it? Or would you just do it on your own? Or would you play with me and daddy?”; those sorts of things. So she’d get to spend extra time with you, which she loves. She gets attention, which she loves and she gets to feel like she is empowered to make the choice, and it’s not just like you saying you can have this or you can’t have this, right?
And so we would do that and we actually gave her an allowance and so then she would choose because she would start to realize that maybe she wanted this and not that anymore. How often does it happen where your kid wants something so badly in the moment; they must have it and then it’s in a drawer somewhere or on a shelf somewhere or ends up going to Goodwill or to the garage sale. So this way when they actually buy something they value it more.
Basically what this is going to give them is three main things:
- Delayed gratification instead of instant gratification;
- The value of money because now they’re comparing prices and really comparing things that they like and what they don’t like; and
- Then it also gives them empowerment so that they’re in control and they get to make decisions. Just imagine how it’s going to affect them later in life. How it’s going to pave the path to their financial future. All you have to do is to implement this simple system, so go ahead and try it and get back to me and leave some comments here so I can see how it went.